#372 - 👶 A Memoir of Hope: A Conversation with Jennifer Bernardo

Hello friends 👋

In this episode of Beyond the Beeps, Leah interviews Jennifer Bernardo, a passionate advocate and author of 'Week 26', who shares her journey through the NICU with her twins, Luke and Layla. Jennifer discusses the challenges of having premature babies, the healing power of writing, and the importance of community support. She emphasizes the role of presence in NICU care, the significance of involving siblings, and her advocacy efforts to raise awareness about the NICU experience. The conversation highlights the resilience of NICU parents and the hope that guides them through difficult times.

Link to episode on youtube: https://youtu.be/qK44ShpEJZg

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Short Bio: Jennifer Bernardo is a first-generation Portuguese American, NICU mom, and author of Week 26: A Memoir of Hope, Faith, and Perseverance. Her powerful story follows the premature birth of her twins at 26 weeks and the emotional journey that shaped her advocacy for NICU families. A graduate of George Mason University, Jennifer has a background in journalism and now works in the real estate industry while dedicating her time to writing, speaking, and community outreach. Through her work with organizations like the March of Dimes and her ongoing public advocacy, she strives to support families navigating the challenges of prematurity and inspire hope through shared experience.

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The transcript of today's episode can be found below 👇

Leah (00:02.23)

Welcome back everyone to our Beyond the Beeps community. This is episode 18 of Beyond the Beeps. And today I am joining an incredible mom, passionate advocate, beautiful author, Jennifer. Jennifer Bernardo is joining me here. She is a first generation Portuguese American who just authored her first book, Week 26. I had the great honor to meet her in DC at NICU on the Hill in July and have been really impressed and astounded with her ability to share her story, to help us all understand NICU life and how to navigate through all of the ups and downs of difficult situations, especially in the NICU. So, beyond being a NICU mama, she received her bachelor's degree from George Mason University and was once a journalist and on a kids television show, which is probably why she's such a great communicator. She works in the real estate industry, excuse me, and also has put a lot of time into writing this book and working towards advocacy for

Leah (01:59.552)

Nicu families, she does a lot of work with March of dimes and also in the realm of parenting, parenting multiples, parenting lots of children, working while parenting, a lot of things which we'll talk about with her later. But she's shared in her book that her life is fueled by her children, her family and her culture, all of which has made her who she is today. And I'm so, so grateful to have Jennifer Bernardo with us here at the Beyond the Beeps podcast. Welcome, Jennifer.

Jennifer (02:29.297)

Thank you, thank you for having me.

Leah (02:31.638)

Yeah, super, super great to have you here. And really grateful from that opportunity that we had back in July was really great. think something that I really wanted to chat with you about was something that representative Morgan McGarvey talked about in his talk. I'm not sure if you were there when he was talking about his processing, his NICU experience. had twins also in the NICU.

And for him, processing the experience was to start making some changes legislatively. And hopefully if any of his people are out there listening, I'd love to interview him and have him share with our Beyond the Beeps community as well. But I think when I read your book, and we're going to talk about it a lot here today and it's all marked up and things, I felt that there was a lot of processing of the experience in the writing process.

itself and going back over it and getting that opportunity. So I'd love to chat with you about that. But first, let's talk about Luke and Layla, your sweet baby NICU babies. What brought them to the NICU?

Jennifer (03:39.623)

Thank

Jennifer (03:44.04)

I had basically what they called a placenta parivia partial and we had been monitoring it the week before all this sort of happened but it had erupted in the middle of the night and I ended up hemorrhaging which rushed me to the hospital. They stabilized me and you know thought that

things were gonna sort of be okay for the next seven to 10 days, they were just gonna monitor me, but I ended up hemorrhaging two more times before it just got really bad that I had to deliver the babies. There was just no other option. So I was just losing so much blood that they had to get them out and they, you know, in order to save them and also save myself. So.

Yeah, they were born at it was 26 weeks gestation Luke was one or two pounds even and Layla was one pound 11 ounces Very little

Leah (04:52.78)

That's incredibly big for those. But big for those, for 26 weeks, it's incredible. mean, they really, they grew a lot in there and they did.

Jennifer (05:02.289)

They did. Yeah, they came out strong for sure.

Leah (05:05.688)

goodness. Yeah. So in this book, you you talk, it has three parts. It's a part from your perspective, one from your husband's and one from your daughter. And then I think and definitely your mother's your mother's voice comes in here too. I'm wondering, you know, when you began thinking about what you wanted to do to

Jennifer (05:19.91)

Yes.

Leah (05:30.38)

to document this book or this experience, what brought you to writing?

Jennifer (05:37.603)

It started sort of as a healing process for myself as well as communication for those in the outside world, right? There were so many times where, you know, people wanted to reach out, but they didn't know how, they didn't know how often they should, but they wanted to know how things were going and how the babies were doing. And I just didn't have the mental capacity to update.

Leah (05:48.942)

Mm-hmm.

Jennifer (06:06.231)

everyone all the time every day. And it was just, was, you know, while it was great, it was a little bit exhausting. So I created this or not created, but I joined this online forum where, you know, it was, it was private to just myself, as well as my community, my family, my friends, where I could make updates. And

Leah (06:08.728)

Yeah.

Jennifer (06:33.915)

You know, they would get the update, they could comment on it, they could send me a note. And that way everyone knew how the babies were doing every time I updated the website. So it sort of started there with just kind of tracking their milestones. You know, when things were really great or when things were really bad, how much they were growing, you know.

Leah (06:46.124)

Yeah.

Jennifer (07:01.893)

just tracking their goals and when they, know, look and lay, you know, grew two ounces today, you know, or, you know, they, I changed their diaper today, you know, I mean, just the small stuff that were huge to me. And it all started there and then it was just sort of, I would typically do it on a weekly basis, sometimes even every other day, just depending on their progress and what I wanted to share.

Leah (07:14.476)

Yeah.

Jennifer (07:29.071)

And I'm so grateful that I did because it was, you know, going through that experience, sort of looking back, a lot of it is a blur. I mean, it's just, you're in this survival mode where you just don't, you know, you're kind of working hour by hour to kind of make sure you're getting one step in front of the other. And everything was on this website. I could print it out. I could...

And now, you know, I look back and I can just track their progress and just look at how amazing it was. So I started, that's sort of where it started as far as getting things down on, you know, writing. And then, you know, my husband looked at me one day and said, you know, you should just write a book. I think our story is inspiring, you know, now that they're home and.

Leah (08:11.79)

Yeah.

Jennifer (08:25.146)

things are good and it's a powerful story to tell and to help others heal and get through that process. I was just, I don't know how to write a book. I've never written a book before. don't even know where to start. But I continued to just put things on paper. I would sort of take what I wrote while in the NICU, and this was a year or two after, just.

put it in an outline and just track their progress. And for me, it was just like this healing journey for me to be like, look at where they were when they were born and look at where they are now. I mean, and what they went through. So, you know, just put everything in an outline and just said, wow, this could really be a powerful story. And that was it. And I just kept trucking. mean, it, you know, with

Leah (09:07.214)

Mm.

Jennifer (09:20.654)

everything else going on in life. took me a while to kind of get to the finish line, but I pushed through and I made it a goal for myself to get this book published, not only for helping others, but also for my kids so that they can read their story and be grateful for it. My oldest has already read it and once or twice. Has a couple questions.

but for the most part remembers most of it and loves it and they love sharing it with the world. So it's a huge accomplishment. I'm so proud of it and I hope it can continue to help others moving forward.

Leah (10:04.854)

Yeah, yeah, for sure. I I think it's a powerful testament, right, and allows a lot of us to bear witness to that. I think it's also very easy to read. It's very approachable. It's not too overwhelming. It's very real, but written in a very approachable way. I think.

Jennifer (10:15.686)

Mm-hmm.

Leah (10:30.53)

You know, we're talking about you, you wrote it after, right? Thankfully you had written those things down and there's a passage in here that I would love for you to share with our community that to me was sort of a rallying cry for you to start that communication process because when you're listening, people might think, well, of course it's easy to do now, but this was where you were then. And that's the beautiful part about this book. It's on page 73.

Jennifer (10:50.086)

Mm-hmm.

Jennifer (11:03.952)

Yes.

Jennifer (11:07.942)

It's the beginning of the chapter called the NICU. When word got out that I had delivered my babies, my phone began flooding with text messages and phone calls from family members and friends. It was so hard to respond with the truth when asked how I was doing and if everything was okay. No, I was not okay. The babies were not okay and nothing anyone else could do would change that. While I was happy to be alive and that my babies had made it out alive, the combination of our recent trauma

and our unknown future was more than I could bear.

Leah (11:42.572)

I think that's, thank you for reading that. think that's, for those of us who are listening, you know, knowing that that's how you felt then, and it wasn't more than you could bear, right? That's how you felt in that moment. And I hope that folks, when they read it here, they can say, I can feel like it's more than I can bear and I can keep going. Because this is what follows there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jennifer (11:56.228)

Right.

Jennifer (12:05.712)

Yep. You have no choice. Yeah, you have no choice. Yep. You have to build the resilience and you have to keep moving forward, stay optimistic and hope for the best day in and day out. So.

Leah (12:21.74)

Yeah, yeah, that's the message that I when I hear this, and then I heard you talk about in this book, you're talking about joining that caring bridge and starting to communicate out and starting to really receive help, receive people to come and support you because it was more than I you quoting you I could bear. And what I hear in this tremendously is you didn't have to do it alone.

Jennifer (12:51.27)

No, I mean, there's so many resources out there that, you know, the NICU experience was something I was not familiar with. mean, I, you my first child was born full term. She came home a couple days later. I mean, it was, you know, natural birth. I just, I never really knew anybody who had a baby in the NICU for a long period of time. It just wasn't something that even crossed my mind. I didn't have to do it alone. Yes. So I think going through the process, you start to learn that there are a lot of resources that you have out there. It's just a matter of if you want to accept them, if you want to reach out to them. And I think every NICU parent should utilize those resources. Thankfully, I had a lot of family and friends that are very dear to me.

My mother, we are super close. She was a huge part of my healing process. And I had that support from her, which really, really helped me get through this. And so the CaringBridge notes was also, it was a way to update family and friends, but it was also a way of getting back the comments and the support, the words that you're gonna get through this.

Leah (14:09.164)

Yeah.

Leah (14:15.853)

Yeah.

Jennifer (14:32.365)

it's gonna be okay, know, rallying for Luke and Layla and, you know, rallying for our family and just giving us those words of encouragement daily. So it was sort of a, I'll help you if you help me type thing, sort of behind the screen.

Leah (14:49.166)

Well, nice thing about that too, though, sorry, is that there's, you know, being in the NICU is like drinking out of a fire hydrant and it's on fire, right? So that's my, in my mind, you know, like there's a lot of information coming at you. There's a lot of concerns. You're trying to learn new language. You're trying to do a lot of things and people really care about you, but they don't know how to show up necessarily unless maybe they've been through it. And even then, if they have the time or they have the right,

Jennifer (15:03.557)

Yeah.

Leah (15:18.114)

capacity for it at that point. And it can be a flood, another fire hydrant of people trying to help, and then they need a lot of help to try to figure them out. And I love this asynchronous component of whatever it might be, know, one person taking point, being able to journal, because then you can look when you're ready. You can see when you want to, right? It's not always like your phone's ringing and calling when you might need a minute. But let's talk about your mom.

And just a little bit, she's, you mentioned her a lot and you talked a bit about her story too, your grandmother's story and how powerful that sort of lineage that you guys have. And there's a part here in the book when you talk about, you had mentioned that you had had the hemorrhaging and so you were bleeding at home and then you come back home and it's all been cleaned up. And this is something that

I think if there's other supporters out there, I know that's our role is to be supporters, my role, and I see baby in our mentors. And what are the, what are the very loud, quiet things that people, that people did for you to support you? So the big things that made a huge impact, but nobody really noticed, they didn't get a, you know, they didn't really require much. One you mentioned just to start you off was that your mom had cleaned up the house. And so when you came home, you didn't have to clean up the house.

Jennifer (16:41.882)

Yes.

Jennifer (16:46.509)

Yeah, specifically my room and my bathroom where the mess was, right? That led me to the hospital. She cleaned my bed, she cleaned my bathroom, the floor. There was no remnants of what had happened. And I can only imagine what was going through her head as she was having to do that. But just having her support every day, making meals.

Leah (16:55.48)

Yeah.

Jennifer (17:15.407)

helping me with laundry, just those everyday tasks that us as parents have to do on a daily basis. I could focus on my kids instead of all the other noise on the outside. The kids' school provided meals for me. They did a meal train. That was really, really great. Parents got together and they signed up for a day where they would deliver a meal for our family.

Leah (17:28.44)

Great.

Jennifer (17:45.336)

so we didn't have to think about cooking or what are we going to eat tonight. And so that was really nice. know, just checking in, friends sending encouraging words via text message, that's fine. Even picking up the phone and calling. I didn't want to see a lot of people because I would just break down. It was just really hard for me.

Leah (18:12.152)

Yeah, of course.

Jennifer (18:14.233)

but sort of getting that support from the outside was really, really important. you know, sometimes those that you thought would reach out didn't, and it really teaches you kind of who are the important ones, who are the ones that are a part of your life that really, really care, even after week one and week two of being out of the hospital. mean, they were there for almost five months.

And the ones that stuck around month four, month five, and that time after, those are your true friends and family. And that's what I would say is just keep providing that support, not just the day after or the week after, till the very end, because they're going to need it. I needed it for sure. And while I didn't want to go to events or

Leah (18:39.853)

Yeah.

Jennifer (19:08.719)

parties or show my face anywhere because I was still in a very fragile place, I still wanted to hear from people. And I had certain people come over that I was comfortable with, we just, even it was just sitting there and just talking about something else, just to get my mind off of it for five minutes was sometimes all that I needed.

Leah (19:20.024)

Yeah.

Leah (19:31.34)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Jennifer (19:37.381)

And then you got the hospital support as well. I had a dedicated social worker that would reach out to me just to make sure that I'm okay mentally. And that was important. Getting educational materials so you can understand the terminology that the nurses are throwing out at you every day.

There's so many resources. I've learned of so many foundations now, post-NICU as I continue to be a part of the NICU community, but there's so many foundations out there, so many nonprofits that put their heart and soul into helping parents that are going through this experience. And I hope that they kind of keep getting their voice out there.

Leah (20:23.374)

Right.

Jennifer (20:30.752)

and their names out there so the parents know who to reach out to in this time of need for them. I didn't know of half of these organizations, to be honest.

Leah (20:36.92)

Yeah.

Leah (20:40.718)

Yeah, yeah, guess it is a lot of quiet, quiet work until you need it, you find out. So this is, I love you, we've talked to a couple of words like communication, and this is support. And all of these things sort of are creating a scaffolding to empower you in the NICU, right, to help you be more comfortable at the bedside, help you to show up the way you want to.

Jennifer (20:45.25)

Right, right, exactly.

Leah (21:10.19)

And the way we want to, especially if it's our first time in the NICU, or even if it's not, every experience is different. There's a moment in the book when you talk about, page 61 here.

and about being a, in my mind, I interpret it sort of as when you feel like a parent for the first time. And it's, is a, this is a common topic that most of our families feel is a sense of powerlessness and a sense of disconnection because our babies were taken too soon and it doesn't feel right and we can't make sense of it. And,

There's a moment usually for everyone which we really hope to have happen within the first 24 hours, but we know it doesn't when Doesn't always I should say you feel like a parent again, and there's a I would like to start with that on page 61 But halfway down the page there

Jennifer (22:09.316)

Mm-hmm.

Leah (22:17.77)

This is also background. Yeah, so this is when the nurses came to you and said, okay, we're going to put a pump by your bedside. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

Jennifer (22:17.839)

Um, do you want to start it?

Jennifer (22:23.972)

Yes, started of course. Okay. Of course I can do that. I smiled genuinely for what felt like the first time in weeks. After constantly feeling numb and powerless, finally something was in my control. Finally, I might actually be able to help.

Leah (22:45.26)

This is an incredible moment to me. And say a little bit more about what was going through your mind there.

Jennifer (22:48.941)

Yes.

Jennifer (22:54.628)

I mean, it's exactly what you said. You feel you kind of have to surrender as a mom and let the nurses and doctors do their job. And there's nothing that you can do to help them when they first come into this world at that age. And when the nurse came in and said, you can start pumping and start providing milk for your babies, it was...

I was like overjoyed because it was the first time I felt like I could do something and I could contribute to their survival. And so, you know, when that first, what they call liquid gold comes out and, you know, they put it on a little tooth, a Q-tip and you put it in there on their lips and you see them sort of sucking on it as their intuition kicks in. I mean, it's just a, it's, it's such a pivotal moment.

you feel like you're giving them a part of you that you couldn't when they were born.

Leah (24:00.622)

Yeah, yeah. It brings tears to my eyes. I remember when I first learned from an incredible lactation consultant that we work with, she said, you know that that colostrum tastes like amniotic, the mother's amniotic fluid. And so it's such a reminder of home. And it tells that baby, your home.

Jennifer (24:19.096)

Mm.

Jennifer (24:24.29)

Yes, for sure.

Leah (24:29.778)

mama's here, right? This is what you were used to. And that connection is just extraordinary. I also think interestingly as you as a great communicator too, knowing how much you do, that you still felt like that, and you just said now, like there was nothing I could do in those first hours. There's nothing I could do, but you were.

Jennifer (24:31.937)

Exactly.

Leah (24:56.716)

Right? You were doing things. You were pumping this. were doing this. And there's another thing that you did that's really, really incredible to me. And we talk a lot about how parents can use their presence. And you even mention here in the book that, you know, you were hoping that you and Joe, your husband Joe, that your presence could help a little bit, could make a difference for Luke and Leila. And we know that that does.

make a big impact. So parents' presence at the bedside is not something that is taken lightly in the NICU world. In fact, it's highly, highly encouraged to make it as much as possible, in many ways as possible, and using your senses to help your baby to recover from stressful procedures, using your voice, your touch, your milk, just your physical presence there to help.

your babies feel comfortable and grow and thrive. And I want you to read just one more, know. This is my favorite one. On page 79 at the top of the page, if you wouldn't mind just reading that first paragraph. Because this is where your...

Jennifer (26:01.92)

Okay.

Jennifer (26:10.404)

Yes.

Leah (26:13.346)

think this was really one of the first times that you saw Layla. And I want you to share with us what you said.

Jennifer (26:17.527)

Yes.

Jennifer (26:21.899)

Okay. Hi, Leila, I whispered. It's mommy. I'm so sorry you had to come into this world so early, but you're doing great. Mommy and daddy love you so much. We're going to be right by your side every single day to fight this with you. You will never be alone and I have faith that you're going to make it through this. Your brother Luke is right across the room fighting with you and you have a big sister at home who cannot wait to meet you.

Leah (26:52.77)

You narrated for her what's going on. I think it's, and maybe for yourself too.

Jennifer (26:56.149)

Yes.

Jennifer (27:01.175)

Yeah, I was the first time, that was the first moment I saw her. And so I just wanted to talk to her. that was the first thing that came to my head. And I said the exact same stuff to Luke as well.

Leah (27:17.1)

Yeah. And I think that's, it's incredible how you used your voice for her and Luke and Angelina. There's sections in here, you know, where you help her understand what's going on. But your voice in, we think, you know, they're babies. They can't understand and maybe not. They won't have that declarative memory. They won't be able to tell us, you remember when you told me that, mom, remember when you came in and you explained it all to me?

Jennifer (27:27.903)

Thank

Jennifer (27:44.77)

Right.

Leah (27:45.9)

But your explanation, your tone, your demeanor, your presence, you're helping her understand what's going on, helping Luke understand, helping Angelina. Those are the things that we know our babies do remember. They do have an emotional memory. know, had, mom had my back, daddy had my back. I went through that hard, but mom told me about it. And she said, hey, heads up, we're going to do this, but you're going to be fine. And that's really amazing. It's amazing.

Jennifer (28:05.943)

That's right.

Jennifer (28:10.66)

That's right.

Leah (28:15.734)

Incredible. So something else that was done really, really well that I would love to highlight here about the experience too that you shared with Angelina, who was four at the time or five? Five, okay. So big enough to understand, but not big enough to understand. so that's okay. Something they did at the hospital that really blew my mind was

Jennifer (28:30.829)

She was five, yep.

Jennifer (28:35.831)

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Leah (28:44.91)

preparing for her first visit. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Jennifer (28:48.899)

Yeah, so she was not able to come to the hospital for quite some time, a couple months, because when they were born, it was during the winter season. So flu season was on, you know, high alert because of, you know, they didn't want the babies to catch any germs, so no kids were really allowed to come through the NICU. When she did get the green light, you know,

it was they welcomed her with open arms. I mean, they took her into a room and they basically prepped her. They explained, you know, what a stethoscope was and sort of gave her the knowledge to understand what she was about to walk into. The babies were already in open cribs, which was great to kind of ease the situation a little bit. But they did have they still had, you know, the oxygen.

tubes and a feeding tube and we really wanted to prepare her before coming in. So they did a little exercise with her. They asked her some questions. They showed her some equipment. She had to wear a gown and some gloves. So they put that on her. They also let her decorate a little onesie for them. So it was

You know, it took the stress out of it and really brought us joy. So we were walking down that hall and we were prepared and she was prepared and ready and just really, really happy to finally meet them. So yeah, the hospital did a phenomenal job of prepping her for what she was about to witness with her brother and sister.

Leah (30:43.618)

Yeah, including her. We've had some siblings on our podcast before, and we have a group of siblings here that we work with regularly. It's really critical that they get included. I I really hope to take this and replicate it across all the hospitals, because it's brilliant. It's brilliant. It allows them to really feel part of it and in an age-appropriate way and safe and all of those things. So that's wonderful.

Jennifer (30:55.053)

Yeah, sure.

Jennifer (31:01.161)

Yeah. Yeah.

Leah (31:12.492)

So what are Luke and Leila up to these days?

Jennifer (31:17.537)

They are six and half now at this point in first grade and doing lots of sports. know, Luke's into soccer, they do karate together. Layla is in dance class. And you know, they're just being a six year old. They're thriving, they're doing amazing. And they are very different. They have very different personalities.

while they cannot be apart, they also cannot be together. they do everything together. They're in the same class. They watch each other's back, which is amazing to see and witness on numerous times. And they just look out for each other. So it's great. So they're keeping busy. But yeah, they also have joined me at various fundraising events.

Leah (31:51.438)

you

Jennifer (32:17.846)

We've gone to NICU reunions before, we've done fundraisers, they've raised a lot of money, they've been on stage before at a March of Dimes event and helped with an auction. I mean, they love it. They love to share the story that they went through. They're proud of it. They ask questions, they love to see photos. And so, you know, I tell them every day that they're little miracles and they are an inspiration to other.

other kids out there. So yeah, they're doing great.

Leah (32:52.014)

Awesome. And you have not slowed down either. Not only are you a mom to all of these children with all of their special things and having their wonderful opportunities, you really stepped into advocacy in a new way, or maybe a deeper way. Tell me a little bit more about what you're doing now.

Jennifer (33:01.815)

Yeah.

Jennifer (33:10.306)

Mm-hmm.

Jennifer (33:14.848)

Yeah, mean, ever since I published the book, I've really become a part of the NICU community that I didn't even know existed and really trying to connect and learn more about, you know, what others are doing to help other parents in the NICU. Trying to get my book out there to, you know, donating it to hospitals so they can put it in their lending library so that other parents can read it.

You know, so helping out with fundraisers, being a part of the March of Dimes, you know, they were a huge resource for me at my hospital. So I owe a lot to them and, you know, myself and my kids have really tried to participate in their events and activities and fundraisers and just continue to raise awareness and advocate because like I said, I did not know what the NICU was. I did not know the intensity of it.

And I think other parents should know, those, you know, looking to have kids and, you know, hopefully nobody has to experience it. But if you do, this is what it is, and this is sort of how you try to get through it and the questions to ask, and these are the resources that you have. And, you know, and I think it's important to continue to spread that awareness. I, you know, hope to just continue to help other moms, not just in the NICU world, but just beyond that, just...

a parent of multiples. Getting through that, multitasking. I'm a full-time working mom. I work in the corporate world, but I also try to use my spare time to advocate and do fundraisers and get the book out and provide resources for other parents out there and caregivers. I'm working on a keynote speech now to hopefully get on

Leah (34:45.326)

Yeah.

Jennifer (35:09.558)

various stages to share my story and get it out there and talk about the importance of building resilience and perseverance and getting through a traumatic situation and how to handle that. yeah, just continue to be out there and spread the word is really what I'm looking to do.

Leah (35:31.734)

Yeah, it's beautiful. you're in this process of healing. You're working on healing yourself in this communications and writing and speaking. I really think you'll bring healing and help others foster that healing process as well. So I really appreciate you putting your energy into this.

So I'm wondering, we always talk about hope in the NICU. I'm wondering what hope means to you.

Jennifer (36:07.383)

I mean, hope is what got me through. The subtitle of my book is just a memoir of hope, faith, and perseverance. Hope is staying optimistic, trying to continuously tell yourself that it's going to be OK, and trying to get through every single day one step in front of the other and keep moving.

and really just trying to turn this experience, this traumatic experience into something meaningful. That's the meaning of my hope now is that this story can help others. But I am a person of faith. think prayer is also something that got me through this and it continues to push us forward in life. But yeah, I think just

Leah (37:04.494)

Mm-hmm.

Jennifer (37:08.136)

Knowing that it's going to be okay or not knowing but praying and hoping that it's going to be okay was kind of my motto that got me through each day in the NICU.

Leah (37:13.516)

Right.

Leah (37:20.76)

Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. Well, you have a lot to share in this book, but is there anything that you'd want to share with someone who's listening right now? Somebody who's in the NICU or a provider or something that's listening right now?

Jennifer (37:42.274)

I mean, I think if it's a NICU parent, I can't stress enough to reach out to your resources, get help, ask for help, do some Google searches, kind of really understand what's out there for you because there is a lot to support you. And I hope maybe that nurses and neonatologists, if it's a provider,

The parent is going through this too. They're fighting this with their children. Ask them how they're doing. I didn't hold my baby for two weeks, either of them for two weeks, because I didn't know I could hold them. Nobody told me that I could. And when they realized that I hadn't, was, they made a big deal and they let me hold them right then and there. And it's just that communication, just communicate with the parents.

really involve them in the situation. Parents, be a part of their care times. Try to, if you are fortunate enough to be close to the hospital, try to be there when you can be a part of checking their temperature, changing their diaper, giving them a bath, providing them breast milk if you can, because that's really going to give you a sense of hope and also

make you feel like, okay, I can do this with them. I am their mom and I can help and I can provide and it's really gonna help you in your healing process throughout your journey. So, I mean, I could go on and on, but I think those are sort of, yeah, that's sort of the top advice that I could give, but just hang in there is really what I tell them all the time.

Leah (39:27.468)

That's why you're with luck.

Leah (39:39.617)

in there.

That's right. Don't let that. That's right. That's right. Well, Jennifer, thank you so, so much for joining us here in the Beyond the Beeps community. And for those of you who are out there taking a listen right now, you're maybe sitting by your baby's bedside, holding their tiny little fingers, or walking at home, pacing while you're pumping, driving back and forth to work if you're juggling that, or maybe on your way into the NICU.

Jennifer (39:42.528)

You will get through this.

Leah (40:11.17)

Jennifer and I want you to know that you are not alone and we look forward to being in your ears or on your eyes next time. Take care.

Jennifer (40:19.84)

Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much.