#316 - The Baby Bonding Book – Dr. Joanna Parga-Belinkie on Connecting with Your Newborn

Hello friends 👋

In this special Tech Tuesday episode of The Incubator Podcast, Ben and Daphna sit down with Dr. Joanna Parga-Belinkie—neonatologist, author, and co-host of the AAP’s Pediatrics on Call podcast. They dive into her new book, The Baby Bonding Book: Connecting with Your Newborn, a resource designed to demystify early parenting through a blend of evidence-based guidance and real-world experience.

Joanna shares how her background in neonatology and her work in both NICU and newborn nursery settings shaped the stories and structure of the book. The conversation highlights the overwhelming amount of information modern parents face, and how the book’s approachable format aims to reduce stress and empower bonding. The team discusses the science behind early relational health, how clinicians can better support families, and the importance of maintaining humanity in both parenting and medical practice.

Whether you’re a parent, provider, or someone interested in pediatric health communication, this episode offers insights into bridging clinical knowledge with compassionate storytelling—and why it’s critical for both family well-being and professional growth.

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Short Bio:  Dr. Joanna Parga-Belinkie is an associate professor of pediatrics and clinical neonatologist at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) and the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania (HUP). She is a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics and co-host of their flagship podcast Pediatrics On Call. She lives in Philadelphia with her husband and three children.

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The transcript of today's episode can be found below 👇

The Incubator (00:00.824)

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Incubator podcast. are back today for a special episode that we are recording with a co-podcaster guest. Daphna is here in the studio as well. Daphna, how are you this morning?

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (00:10.227)

Yes, really.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (00:14.087)

Doing well, doing well, this is gonna be fun.

The Incubator (00:16.219)

yeah, it's going to be fun. We're joined by Dr. Joanna Parga-Belinki. Joanna, welcome to the podcast.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (00:23.548)

Thank you so much for having me here, guys.

The Incubator (00:26.19)

People should know who you are at this point. mean, you are a household name. You are an associate professor of pediatrics and clinical neonatology at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. You are a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics and a co-host of their flagship podcast, Pediatrics on Call. You live in Philadelphia with your husband and three kids. It's a pleasure to finally have you on.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (00:30.195)

Thank

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (00:55.772)

I know I was so excited about this because I listen to you guys all the time. I was just telling Daphna that I gave one of your podcasts to one of my fellows last week when we were talking about respiratory support for a preemie. So for me, I'm like, man, it's good to be here with you guys. You guys are the real stars in neonatology. This is such an honor.

The Incubator (01:08.238)

you

The Incubator (01:17.262)

The pleasure is all ours. The honor is definitely ours. And we're excited to have you on the podcast today for the release of a brand new book that you've authored called the Baby Bonding Book Connecting with Your Newborn. It's a great read. And I had a lot of fun just like highlighting a bunch of quotes and concepts. So I'm very excited to talk to you about this. I'm going to let Daphna kick us off and then

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (01:17.543)

That's nice of you to say.

The Incubator (01:46.67)

I have my list of things that I want to go through.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (01:49.319)

Me too. Well, I'm recognizing like all of a sudden it's occurring to me that my very first podcast debut was on your podcast, not the AAP podcast, your first podcast where we talked about delivery types. And so it's obvious to me as someone who's known you for a long time that this book has been a long time coming. You know, you've had the thought and you've been working towards it.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (01:58.13)

That's right.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (02:19.143)

But I guess my first question is really about why, like what did you feel the need was? Why did you feel well suited as a neonatologist? And how can we encourage other people to do the same thing? Reach out to the lay public.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (02:38.546)

Well, you mentioned an old podcast I used to do that was called Baby Doctor Mamas, and that I did with Dr. Diana Montoya Williams, who another prominent neonatologist, but also my college roommate and lifelong friend and now co-worker. And that podcast was all about us being new moms. We, at that point, each only had one child. Now she has two and I have three.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (02:44.359)

That's right.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (03:07.906)

And it was, we felt that there was this space that we needed more approachable conversation about baby topics. And so that was really what we were trying to do with the podcast. And Daphna, you are a hundred percent right that that informed the writing of this book because there is so much information out there for parents. It can be really overwhelming and it is stressful for parents. Back in 2024,

you know, the surgeon general put out a notice that parents are super stressed. And I think a part of that is there's so much access to all this information that they feel like they have to be an expert in caring for their baby. Right. They have to know exactly what to do about vaccines. They have to know exactly what to do for their postpartum period. They have to have a birth plan. So parents are feeling all this anxiety. So I really wanted to make something that was really approachable, that was narrative based and story based.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (03:49.18)

Yeah.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (04:02.826)

And it took a long time and a lot of thought. And I encourage other neonatologists to do that because we need good communicators out there making content that is really accessible to people. And as a neonatologist, that informed a lot of the stories in the book, but I also work in the newborn nursery. So I also see a high volume of new parents and babies, and these babies are well.

And I didn't do that, by the way, until I became an attending. So in my training, know, of course, back in pediatric residency, I did a well-baby rotation, but it was like a few weeks. And then, you know, I did NICU, did NICU for three years, all the procedures, all the intensity. Then I went back to the nursery as an attending. And it is wild. In some ways, it's more stressful, I think, than being.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (04:36.349)

You're weak. Yeah.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (04:54.478)

in the NICU. So for any general pediatricians that listen to this podcast, good for you. Yeah. And so I think that that really informed the book too, because there's these two sides of medicine that I do in the hospital.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (04:58.471)

Mad props. Agreed.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (05:09.331)

For sure. I love that. Yeah. It takes me, it takes me about an hour to do a baby in the newborn nursery. Right. And I want to kind of highlight the chapters in the book because I actually think you did something quite smart. I'm not going to use word sneaky, but sneaky is not the right word. But what did you say? Clever. Clever is the word. Okay.

The Incubator (05:33.742)

Clever, it was very clever.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (05:36.967)

The chapters are running to the start line, parenting before baby arrives, a delivery, your placental relationship, let's get physical, testing one, two, three, finding your milk way. You're getting sleepy, very sleepy. I'm not crying, you're crying, but why? Eat, sleep, poop, build exponential neuronal networks, repeat, making milestones. And the last chapter, chapter 11 is baby bonding, despite the book title being bonding with your baby. And so...

I think what was so clever, thank you for that word, was that all of those pieces of medical information and empowering parents is helping them bond with their baby, even though the last chapter is what I think people probably imagine the whole book to be about. Was that intentional by design? What was your thought when you sat down to write this?

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (06:32.796)

I feel like so many parents just don't think that they're enough. They think that they need to have either all this information or all these things to be able to take care of baby. And so I really wanted parents to be able to have good information, be able to access it, but also realize that

even with all the information at the end of the day, at the end of the book, it's really about you and relationships. And there is so much science behind safe, stable, nurturing relationships and growth of the brain and also growth of resiliency and relationships and school performance later in life. And I feel like we just don't tell parents that they're enough, enough, you know?

And so I really wanted them to know that there is this deep science in relationship building and in how you connect with your newborn and the importance of that. Because again, our modern lives are so busy with so many, so much noise and so much information and advice. And when you break it all down, it comes down to how intentional are you about connecting with your baby?

And when you are intentional and you spend the time and you give that physical part of yourself and also that mental part of yourself, it makes a big difference in how that baby's brain grows. And it makes a big difference in how they're laying the foundation for their neuronal connections and their ultimate brain growth, right? And so I really wanted...

to give good information, but also to give permission for families to just take some time out and hang out with their baby. And what I really envision is that you might be sitting with your baby reading this book to them at night, even though they didn't even understand any of the chapters. Because in the simple act of reading and talking to your baby, you're making that connection and building their brain, right? So I really wanted it to be something entertaining, but also enlightening, and have parents realize that

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (08:25.363)

Yeah, that's a great start.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (08:40.902)

their attention and focus and desire to have a good relationship is what's paramount in baby's health and thriving and growth.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (08:50.225)

Yeah, I love that. And I mean, for example, I mean, you had a whole chapter in there about the physical exam and at first it struck me as quite interesting. And then I recognized that, I mean, especially in the NICU, but even for these healthy babies in the nursery, they must see somebody examine their baby 10, 15 times over the course of that first year. And they have no idea what we're doing.

And they, know, going to the pediatrician is such a big part of their lives, but they have no idea what we're looking for. And I thought it was such a unique way of empowering them about some of that medical information that really was comprehensive, but easy to manage, like simple enough. And there are some cute pictures and diagrams so that parents could really understand what's going on.

on. And I feel like we don't do that. You mentioned that in the book, when you're talking about the diaper area, we don't explain to parents what we're doing. And it feels like we're doing things to their baby without their permission. And I really like how you showed that one as neonatal professionals, we can improve trust with the parents by talking about what we're doing, just like we would do with a learner in our sphere.

medical student or a trainee, just talk through the exam about what you're doing. But I love how you put it in book format so that parents have all that information. Why did you pick the physical exam?

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (10:29.65)

I feel like I, as I mature in my practice, have been much more intentional about relationship building with the families that I'm working with. I mean, the nature of the healthcare system in the United States is that we're very problem-based, right? And so we're a good system to enter into when you have a problem, but what we're not as good at is preventative care and making sure that people feel a connection to our healthcare system and have...

the resources they need to grow and thrive and those check-ins, right? And I feel like our healthcare system is still really working on being more nurturing. And so I try to exemplify that both for my trainees and for my families when I'm in the hospital. I very much am trying to help my families understand how things as simple as I'm gonna take a look at your baby and I'm gonna look at their anatomy from head to toe and I'm gonna check that, you know, and I don't even use the word, I try not to use the word normal.

in exams anymore because what is normal? I think it's a little subjective. I really try to use the word typical. And I say, just want to know if what I see is in the range of what's typical for most babies. And what's crazy when you do nursery time is that there is a range of typical for a lot of different things, right? And I think we as health care professionals can do a better job

The Incubator (11:27.49)

Mm-hmm.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (11:51.41)

of going into work and I now do this every day. This is part of my practice of being intentional. I go into work and I say, what family am I going to be able to connect with today? What family am I going to be able to learn something new about? Can I help one family today? And that may seem silly, right? Because like if you're rounding and you're doing orders, like you are helping, but I'm like, I really want that human connection with a family. Like I really want to feel that.

And I feel like that is added to my practice because it makes me more excited to come into work and see what relationships I can build. Because I think we can be, and especially in the NICU, because we have babies that are there for months, right, at a time getting better, growing, maturing, a lot of cases because they're premature. And we can be one of those safe, stable, nurturing relationships for those families. And you guys must feel this because you're in a community NICU too. I think it's a little harder in an academic NICU where there's just

more attendings and more people that are going to interface with these families. But when you're in a community, Nikyu, you can really do that because you're the one that's going to be coming on service and seeing these families and being that sense of support is going to help them grow and thrive as parents too.

The Incubator (13:07.436)

I think what's extremely interesting about the book is sort of demystifying a little bit some of the framework that has often been placed on parents involuntarily as to what does proper parenting should look like, what does proper bonding should look like. And I think that that in and of itself means that parents have almost a roadmap of this is how things are going to go. And then there's tremendous angst, it seems, when things don't go as it should based on what the latest Instagram feed is giving me.

And the book does a tremendous job at demystifying that and, and letting sort of parents sort of let go, shed themselves of this, of this burden and understand that bonding with your child will happen in the moment based on a two way relationship where sometimes it does feel like you, you alluded to earlier that, a baby can be very demanding. And so it's like, feed me, change me, but there is a communication that's happening there. And it's, and it's that.

bond that develops over time between their needs, our needs, and the communication that goes between the two of us that makes this bonding experience so special. Can you tell us a little bit about how did you come to this sort of more progressive view of bonding that goes just beyond the very cookie cutter stuff that we see on social media and other sort of Pinterest boards?

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (14:32.239)

We know social media is really just people's ideal, right? A lot of times when people post pictures of their baby and their home, it looks picture perfect, right? They put on a filter. And we live in a very commercialized society too, where people feel like if they...

The Incubator (14:45.133)

Mm-hmm.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (14:55.538)

commoditize that newborn period that they could somehow make it easier. When it is hard, like you were saying, Ben, it's just a very demanding time. Babies do require 24-7 care throughout the course of an entire day, and that includes throughout the night, because we know their sleep is different than our sleep, and they don't have circadian rhythms. there's nothing you could buy that makes...

taking care of a newborn easier. I think there are a few essentials that you can encourage parents to get, but that life online is not real. And real life is messier and more complicated and not as straightforward. the same goes for building a relationship with baby. It might not be love at first sight with a newborn. There's so many changing hormones. There's so many emotions.

And especially if things don't go the way you expect with delivery. And in our profession, we see that all the time. Most of our families in the NICU, this was not what they envisioned having a newborn baby would be like, that that baby would be in the hospital. And so we see that all the time. And it is hard, think, as health care providers to see that, because we want the best for our families, and we want them to be healthy. And we're catching them sort of at what could be one of the worst times for them.

And so it's, I think that's why you got to get back to the core, which is that this is a person that you want to grow and that you want to have a very strong relationship with. And the newborn period is very fleeting. It happens so quickly and it's over in a few weeks really, right? When we talk about the fourth trimester being up to three months long, but that period is really short. And then every stage of childhood goes by and

And you hear parents say this a lot, that it's sort of the longest, shortest time. You've probably heard that phrase, right, where it happens and they change. But then they become an adult. And that adult is really the person that you are going to be spending your time with when you are older. And so I think reflecting on that and what qualities you want that adult to have can help with that initial bonding in this very demanding newborn period when it's happening. And I don't know how progressive

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (17:15.286)

it all my thoughts are on that, but I really looked to the science behind behind early relational health. And I think that that is a burgeoning field. And I think it's one that we need to pay more attention to as neonatologists, because that early relational health, again, is setting up a foundation for how that brain is wired and how that child is going to respond to their environment and how their brain is going to grow. And

And that is something that an intentional loving parent can really shape. And you don't have to get everything right. It's just the act of trying to make that connection. And what is really cool about babies, and you guys could probably speak to this too, is that while they are developing rapidly, they have a temperament. And they have some facets of their personality that exist on day one.

And, you know, it is it can be daunting as a parent to decipher that, but it can also be exciting, you know, because here's this person that you get to learn about and you get to be there and you're a person they're they're never going to they will have always known throughout their entire life. Like if you think of other relationships that you've built that are safe, stable, nurturing relationship for you, they take time. You got to know each other. This is a kind of a fun relationship because you're just thrown into it with the baby.

And so that makes it very unique, but even though you're thrown into it and you're responsible for this child, they still are an individual. And that is what is cool about parenting, is that each child is an individual. And so even if you think you're one type of parent, the way you have to parent is gonna be different based on each child. And you get to learn that as a parent. So I really want, again, parents to have the ability to step.

out of their busy lives and the permission to just really get to learn about the person that they created.

The Incubator (19:13.705)

I thank you. Thank you for that. I had some reservations when I started reading the book about, is it going to be is it a book for me as a parent or is it a book for me as a clinician? And I was I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that it was very relevant for both of these personas. I mean, I am I my wife and I just welcomed a baby about a year ago. And and obviously I'm a neonatologist. But I thought that there was a lot of

interesting ideas that could directly be taken from the book and shared with families at the bedside. think that one of these concepts about maybe understanding that we, like you mentioned earlier, as clinicians, can be this bridge sort of for this bridge in terms of allowing parents to bond, but also maybe talking to parents about how like we can normalize the delay in bonding if they are in the NICU and that maybe that...

particular phase will happen in a different timeline. think that all of these are very interesting because we do see parents who can be labeled as quote unquote difficult. But I was reading the book and I was reflecting that, well, many of them actually fit this model of they just want to bond with their baby. there's a frustration that this is not being allowed to happen right now. And that maybe in reinforcing that word,

this is just a delay and just kind of when you are at the airport and the flight is going to take off in a few minutes. That's sort of the approach that we should encourage. I thought that was very interesting. difficult or how easy was it for you to write this book and then continue to be compelling at the same time, both for the parents and for potential clinicians with a serious level of expertise in newborn care?

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (21:04.079)

I think that's the key and it's, want.

Again, I felt narrative was very important and telling stories because I think that increases approachability. I'm actually glad that you said that you got things out of it as both a doctor and a parent. Because in writing it, I was really trying to reach a broad audience. So I was really looking to parents and it was a process. I wrote it over the course of 18 months when I signed the contract for the book with the American Academy of Pediatrics, which I'm happy to talk about that process because I know we have a lot of

doctors listening and neonatologists who might be interested in book ideas themselves. You know, I signed the contract and found out I was pregnant essentially within the same week. typically they have you write over a 12 month period, but I took 18 months because I knew. I was, I wanted the third desperately. Actually, I mean that...

The Incubator (21:52.696)

That was not planned, by the way, right?

The Incubator (21:59.202)

But not at the same, you didn't plan for this, for the pregnancy to coincide with the book.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (22:02.514)

No, no, no, I dedicated the book though to my last child Zelda because I was pregnant with her through much of writing it. But she was very desired. It's just the timing, you cannot plan pregnancies, at least that has been the case for me. And so the timing just sort of worked out that she was present for this whole bonding experience, which was kind of fun because in

I really was trying to be so much more intentional with this third child about how my relationship was going to be with them. And I had been talking to a lot of other parents about, you know, how they tried to do that, you know, especially if they had multiple children. And that's how I came up with the concept of the vision board for your baby and thinking about. I, I did a vision board. I like a scientific method to my vision boards, right? So.

I took a Harvard Business Review article that looked at four different facets of happiness and was like, you know, thinking about those different facets and in making my vision board, it's success, legacy, achievement. And I'm forgetting my fourth quartile. Anyway, I took a very scientific approach to the vision board, which you could see in the book. And that was really therapeutic for me to think about, not just, you know,

how the delivery was gonna go and what I hoped for in the delivery, because I had had two vaginal deliveries and I really wanted the third one to be a vaginal delivery and was hopeful for that and wanting to get to term, because when you're a neonatologist, you think about that all the time in your pregnancy. But it also just allowed me the...

The Incubator (23:39.726)

Mm.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (23:44.562)

Writing of the book was really cathartic because it allowed me to think about, who is this person? Who are they going to be when they come out? How am I going to recognize that? How am going to communicate with them? And we can talk about strategies for communicating with babies. It's different, obviously, than with any adults in your life or older kids. And specifically, what are the qualities I want them to be when they get older? And I have two daughters. And I do think in the United States, when you have a daughter, you have to think about that a little differently.

My first daughter is not very outgoing. She's more introverted. She's an internal processor. And I remember when she was a baby, you know, people would be like, you know, she's so pretty. She's so pretty. And she was very quiet, which was considered to be like a, you know, a good quality. But then I realized like, that's not the type of woman that I hope she grows up to be, you know, so I spend a lot of time now really

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (24:32.676)

Uh-huh.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (24:42.84)

working to bring her, you know, her, she's introverted, but she's very extroverted at home. So working to make her confident in the qualities that she feels confident expressing in the house to help her express those outside of the house, right? And so, and I think like having multiple children and then writing this book and being able to reflect on it really helped me in my parenting too.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (25:04.199)

Love that. And just to Ben's point, my takeaway as a neonatal health professional is I really liked just the simple tips. may even, you'll let people, maybe you should allow a find a way to make printables. But I like the tips on getting to know your baby while taking care of yourself. And I think that that is something that we not only can do in the NICU, but end in the nursery.

but we actually have an obligation to do because that was really the takeaway I think of the book is healthy parents have healthy, make healthy babies, right? Like we need to focus on parental mental health for the best outcomes, for the best bonding. And so if we're not taking care of parents in the NICU, they're not gonna be their best selves. So I think that we can incorporate that into our practice.

I know we're getting shorter on time. And so you did mention and something I want to help people listening will say like, wow, can I write a book? Can I maybe write an op-ed? Can I post on the internet? I think doctors along the way got this message that like we shouldn't be writing things for the public. And I think that's a mistake. And I think a lot of people, especially neonatology are saying like,

I think we can do this and we can do it differently in a way that helps empower parents and is based in evidence. But I'm not sure everybody feels that way yet. I wanted to ask you, how did you prepare to tackle like some touchy subjects like the birth plan or home births, things like that where I think some people are just like, I'm just not gonna talk about it because I don't wanna get into it.

but you, I think had some very important things to say that can coincide with like appearance goals and hopes and wishes. so what recommendations do you have about some of those touchy-touch?

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (27:09.892)

I had someone that I work with who's both a doula and a social worker. They saw a copy of the book and they approached me and they said, I just want to say thank you for putting something about home birth in the book and for recognizing it because I know a lot of neonatologists that just don't even want to talk about it. Like you said, that don't even want to touch it. But I consider myself a realist at heart and in reality,

patients are thinking about this, they're getting information online about it and they're wondering about it. And my thing is I would rather you come to me with questions and open about what you're really thinking of doing so that you can get good medical advice, right? At the end of the day, and I used to think when I was younger that I could change people's habits or their behaviors or how they would think about something, right? And I thought that that was something I had to do as a doctor. And I've kind of...

stepped away from that thought. And now I see my role more as I want you to, there's so much information out there that I want you just to have the best in information that's evidence-based, that's informed and comes from a caring place to make your decision. Because when, and I'm hopeful that people will.

start having more media literacy tools to be able to decipher information that they see in the media and understand the source it comes from, understand the motivation of the person putting out that content. But at the end of the day, health care professionals don't step up and become a part of the discourse. Then we're going to be losing patients. We're going to be losing families to

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (28:50.589)

Mm-hmm.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (28:51.778)

the other side, which is louder, which doesn't have accountability and which doesn't fact check or, you know, fact check is even now a hot button word, right? But doesn't have the caring approach to looking at information and looking at scientific progress and making sure to empower people with good information. And so I think as healthcare professionals, we should be putting out good information. We should be empowering families to find it. We should be talking about their concerns and their worries.

And there's a really great article in the Lancet about medical misinformation, and it talks about the emotional determinants of health. What are the emotional? Where is this patient coming from? What is their background? What is guiding? And I just think that is such an interesting term, and I think one that we need to think more about as healthcare professionals, because that emotion, especially for parents who are making medical decisions for their infants and their children,

That emotional component is so powerful. That's driving. And at the end of the day, we both want what is best for their baby. And we might not agree, but.

The Incubator (29:58.158)

That's exactly right. That's exactly because, I mean, you're talking about disinformation, fact checking. And at the end of the day, I agree 100%. And the underlying sort of thread throughout of this is that this is information that does not have a person's best interest at heart, right? And that is where the dissonance always happens is that we tend to think that this is information for me when in truth it's the exact opposite. And I think that you do a phenomenal job in the book.

to recenter that and try to be that voice that, yes, it is evidence-based. This is with your benefit and your wellbeing in mind.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (30:39.536)

And I think we've had conversations, the three of us, about engagement in communications. And I'm excited for us to make a pyramid of engagement that kind of can lay out for people, you know, what are the different levels that you can get engaged with media? But media is so ubiquitous now, and I think it's gonna be a really powerful tool for physicians to influence public health. So I'm hoping that more people are interested in.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (30:46.226)

Yeah.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (30:49.555)

Yeah.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (30:57.202)

Yeah.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (31:06.404)

anyone who wants to talk about writing a book, please reach out. I'd be really excited to kind of share more about the process with you.

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (31:13.459)

Yeah, and I think it will lower the bar to entry, right? Like there's no reason people can't be sharing information now. It's so easy to do. And I think that's probably my last question is I found the book to be very friendly, which is by design. And obviously, I mean, that's you, that's your personality coming through. And I worry then.

when physicians want to write things for parents, they want it to be very clinical, very professional sounding. And I kind of think that's a mistake. I think that was what was so artful about the book. Like you were, you know, like the friend having coffee, but you still had this, you have this medical degree and expertise. And so maybe you can talk a little bit about that, about tone and how do we come across

when we're writing for parents.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (32:10.82)

I'm like the really intense friend to have coffee with. I think in medical training, we are taught to bottle our emotions because we see a lot of things in medicine that are difficult to process and to conceptualize sometimes or put into context. I think, and I remember this as a part of my medical training, sort of bottling my feelings and not

Daphna Yasova Barbeau, MD (32:13.384)

Yeah.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (32:40.76)

really addressing them. And I feel like I could have been better about that. And I'm actually really heartened to see that I think the residents and medical students that I'm in training with now are much more cognizant of their emotional health and their mental health than I was as a trainee. And I'm hopeful that we continue to allow doctors to be humans and how they practice and what the hours are and be really mindful of what the work is. And I think

we need to start doing that more as injecting more humanity back into how we practice medicine. you know, you, cause a lot of times the influencers who really influence people online seem so approachable and form these parasocial relationships with the people that they're giving, you know, sometimes bad information to. And so.

And I want doctors listening and other healthcare professionals to know that it's okay to be human. And in a way, being human is more healthy both for you and for the family that you're caring for. And we need to set boundaries, right? So that we can have another whole conversation on healthy boundaries to make sure that you're protecting yourself and your professional and even your personal life. But I think so much of training used to be helping...

letting us learn how to suppress our humanity and we need to let that out more because families want to know us and to know that we care and when we're telling them this information that will help make their babies grow and thrive.

The Incubator (34:15.358)

I could not agree more. And I think that the following in your example of putting pen to paper is a great way of actually opening up in a controlled manner and being able to share what we have to share in the form that we see fit, not being constrained by character counts on X or on shorter clips. Joana, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. The book, the Baby Bonding Book Connecting with Your Newborn.

is out since May 20th. You can get your copies on the American Academy of Pediatrics website or on Amazon. It's available in paperback and ebook. We highly recommend people check it out. I think that if you purchase it from the AAP website, you will get a discount if you are a member. consider that. But congratulations. It's a great book and I know it's going to be shared widely in our NICU. So congrats.

Joanna Parga-Belinkie, MD (35:10.012)

Thank you so much guys, it was such a pleasure to chat with you today.